Guys, it’s time to pull off the Tinder photo with open arms

Congratulations on climbing that mountain, though.

Chances are you’re familiar with the Creed band anthem “With Arms Wide Open,” in which Scott Stapp sings, “With arms wide open in the sunlight / Welcome to this place, I’ll show you’re everything .” But listen, gentlemen. Just as you wouldn’t disclose Creed’s love in your Tinder bio, you should probably avoid using photos in which you’re posing as Stapp describes it: standing outside with your arms outstretched as if welcoming a potential utopia match. gloss of your own design. It’s wildly played at this point.

It’s not as bad as, say, the photos of drugged tigers that plagued dating apps in the mid-2010s. And yes, sweetie, it’s good that you went on a hike. However, you might think that such a common position doesn’t set you apart from all the other Dan, Matt, and Caleb looking for love. Maybe you heard an NPR segment in 2016 that suggested the “expansive” aura of an open-arm shot makes you look “fun” and leads to more dates. If it worked back then, the overdrive level has since neutralized the effect. Hell, it’s been four years since that parody article about a dude’s arms stuck like this. Try something else. How about a rap squat?

I understand, honestly. You stand in front of a majestic view, your favorite theme park, a national monument or a cool street mural. You want to convey the enormity of the scene – the bounty this world has to offer – and you go straight into guru mode. “Here,” those outstretched arms say, “this could all be yours, if only you meet me for coffee this week.” Trouble is, it has more than a whiff of a conqueror, the guy who would be lord and master of the landscape he roams. And you are, ultimately, a rando, not Alexander the Great. I’m not saying put your hands in your pockets when you finally reach the top, but acting like you’ve conjured the scene is kinda cheesy, even if you’re ripped.

You do not believe me ? Check out this photo:

Does anyone want to go to the movies or have a picnic with this guy? Looks like he would turn any low-key bang into a spectacle. I remember when Beto O’Rourke ran for president and kept standing on counters for no reason. Settle down! You’re not communing with the spirit of nature, Eric. I don’t care how many shrooms you took. Being comfortable with yourself means you don’t have to turn everything into a moment of greatness, and dating involves making room for another person in your life. The open arms photo suggests, accurately or not, that you will always want to be the center of attention, the protagonist of reality. Granted, you’re not the 50th guy in a row to hold a fish, but you can always do better. Leave this gadget to the professionals.

Martin E. Berry